I know I'm supposed to wait 3 days before calling a girl after she gives me her number... but I got anxious and called Sara after two. I was going to call her after one day, but Tom saw me dialing, grabbed my phone and threw it in the toilet (because he's a dick). In related news, I now have a new phone.
(In case you're wondering how I still have Sara's number, Android stores your contacts online in your gmail account. Thanks Google!)
In preparation for the call on day 2, I locked myself in my room before dialing so Tom couldn't come in and ruin another phone, but as is my continuous run of bad luck....
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
Sara: Hello?
[Knock. Knock.] BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPP!
Damn it! I planned ahead for Tom, but not for the Douche. He must have come over to hang out with Tom and the dickhead releases one of the loudest burps known to man right outside my door. Right as Sara answered her phone.
Me [towards door]: Go away Douche!
Sara: Uh... excuse me?
Me: Oh hey. Ah. Sara?
Sara: Who the hell is this?
Me: Sorry, this is Nick. I wasn't calling you a douche. I was calling the Douche a douche.
Sara: Ooookay. Do you always burp on the phone like that? Honestly, not really attractive.
Me: Once again, that was the Douche. Not me. Sorry.
Sara: Suuure it was. (Good, I sense sarcasm in her voice. Good.)
Me: I didn't know he was here. Although since you've met him, does the loud burp really surprise you?
Sara: Nope. Not really.
Me: Seriously, if I had a dime for every time I mistakenly peed myself or had the Douche belch just as I was starting a conversation...
Sara: Yeah, so how much would you have?
(Crap. This might be a trap question. Must answer carefully.)
Me: I'd have about 20 cents. (Give or take $5... the Douche burping, not me peeing myself as an adult... probably.)
Sara: Well hopefully you won't be gaining any more dimes on our date.
Me: God I hope not. And kudos on getting right to the point of the phone call. Seems like you might end up being the man in this relationship.
Sara: Nope, I'm the woman. I definitely have a vagina. (Wow. She just... she... wow.) Anyway, I'm in the middle of cooking dinner and really should get going. I'm free tomorrow night, if that works for you.
Me: Absolutely.
We talked for another quick minute or two and decided to we'd grab some sushi at a Japanese restaurant in the city and maybe follow it up with a movie. Luckily tomorrow there will be no Toms or Douches around to mess things up. If something goes wrong, that'll be my fault and my fault alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment