The Lonely Hearts Club – Part One

Yesterday was the day that all singles fear and all couples (mostly women) adore, Valentine’s Day. A stupid dumb stupid stupid Hallmark holiday designed to make people spend money on worthless trinkets as a sign of affection. That being said, I GOT SOME BOOTY!

It started off as a typical workday at the store, with the exception that there were more women than normal in the store. It seemed like they were primarily buying gifts for the guys’ in their lives. On the flipside, there were fewer men than normal. I guess women have less interest in comics and vinyl records than men, but if you find one of those women, you lock them down. You lockdown a girl like Nico.

 [End of workday]

Nico: Hey Nick, doing anything good tonight for VD?

Me: VD? As in venereal disease or Valentine’s Day? Either way, I got a big ole bag of nuthin’.

Nico: Aw. That sucks. But on the bright side, I’m going to let you drive me home.

Me:  LOL. Way to just tell me what I am doing. What happened to your car?

Nico: Engine died. I’ve been borrowing my parents’ cars, but they are out doing Valentine’s Day crap tonight.

Me: Well then, of course you can have a ride, but I have one rule: No playing with my radio.

Nico: Play your cards right on the way home and I’ll play with more than your radio.

Me: *Jaw dropped*

And with that we hopped in the car. I punched Nico’s address into the GPS and DAMNIT SHE’S PLAYING WITH THE RADIO! I admit to being a bit of a Music Nazi, but it’s to be expected from someone who works in store moderately focused around music.  Nico put on Rancid, which… okay… good call. She was singing along and I watched quietly while her lips and lip piercing quivered just so slightly when hitting certain notes. So many thoughts were suddenly racing through my head:

Damn, that’s sexy.

I love Rancid.

She’s really cute.

Shit. She’s 18.

I’m her boss.

I want to kiss her.

I should buy a boat.

What the? Where did that come from?

After a 15 minute drive, we pulled into Nico’s driveway. Parents out. Us alone. We stayed in the car for about another 15 minutes talking about each other’s interests, music, TV shows, and tennis (weird???). Nico shortly after reached for her bag in the backseat of the car indicating she was ready to head into her house.

Me: Do you want me to walk you to your door?

Nico: That’s nice of you, but this wasn’t a date. I’m not going to kiss you goodnight in front of the door.

Me: I… uh… just…

[NICO LEANS OVER QUICKLY AND KISSES ME ON THE LIPS!!!]

Me: [Caught off guard, pleasantly surprised, and smiling] Wow. What was that for?

Nico: Everybody deserves to be kissed on Valentine’s Day. It’s the least I could do for the ride. Plus, I think you’re cute.

Me: I think you are cute too. Thanks. Sooooo, maybe we can do this again sometime.

Nico: And maybe next time I’ll let you walk me to the door.

Nico got out of the car and gave me a quick wave and a smile. I guess next time we have the same schedule I’ll have to officially ask her out on a date.

I then took a minute to check my phone as my text alerts were going crazy during the drive. Tom was trying to get me to join him at the Oceanside for their annual Lonely Hearts Club party. I was on a high after that quick kiss and wanted a celebratory beverage, so I headed out to meet him.

At the time, I thought my kiss with Nico would be the highlight of my night, but I had no idea what was yet to come. Literally.

Chapter 2: Electric Boogaloo

Work. A necessary evil for most of us, but I actually enjoy my job. As I mentioned some time ago, I work at a comic book / music store where I am also part owner. The name of the store is AWESOME (which is fitting since music and comics are completely AWESOME.) I know absolutely nothing about running a business, so I make my days as an everyday clerk and don't deal with any of that management crap. I leave the management stuff to Uncle Ed.

Uncle Ed (note: not my real uncle or uncle of anyone at the store, just a nickname) has been running the location I work at since I started shopping here in junior high. He was in a well known local rock band back in the 80s-90s, but never quite made the jump to the major labels. He's definitely a local legend and one of the coolest guys you could ever meet. And he totally has that washed up rocker look (minus the needle marks).

I also work with the Douche. Enough said.

And then there is Nico. Wow.... Nico, Nico, Nico. Nico is this pseudo punk rock chick who dresses like she stepped out of one of those Japanese anime cartoons. Seriously. Plaid skirt, torn up fishnet stockings, black Chucks, leather wristbands, pierced "things" and a white button down shirt unbuttoned just enough to make you stare and feel guilty (but she is 18 years old, so even though she's borderline jailbait, it isn't illegal... which is good because she's REALLY freaking cute.) Sometimes things around the store can get confusing if Nico and I are working the same shift since we both go by the (no pun intended) nickname "Nick". Most importantly though is that she's a pretty cool chick.

The Douche told me last week that Nico had a crush on me, but I'm pretty sure she is just a big flirt with her mind in the gutter and likes to mess with guys' heads. For example, last week I was helping her stock new releases in the back (that too is sexual):

[Nico standing on ladder]
Nico: Hey Nick, can you hand me that box behind you?
Me: Sure. [Hands box up] Here's your box.
Nico: [Laughing] My box looks nothing like that. Not as dusty and cardboardy.
Me: [Laughing too] I would hope not.
Nico: Now can you grab the box that's underneath me?
Me: [As I'm reaching up to give Nico the box, I can't help but notice her underwear.] Here.
Nico: Did you just look up my skirt and see my panties?
Me: (OH SHIT! BUSTED!) Me... what... I... maybe... I wasn't trying... it just happened to be... (they were in plain sight when I looked up. How could I not look after she planted the seed with her previous box comment? Not like I could close my eyes and hand her the box of comics at the same time.)
Nico: [Laughing] Cause it's okay if you did. At least I'm wearing cute red undies today.
Me: (Phew!) I swear I wasn't trying to see up your skirt. The location of the box and you just kind of put it in my line of sight. I really wasn't planning to look up to see your underwear. I'm so sorry.
Nico: No worries. I did opt to be up here on the ladder with a skirt. Next time you wear a skirt I'll be sure to look up to see your panties and we'll be even. Deal?
Me: [Laughing] Sure.

See. The Douche must be wrong. I mean, it wasn't like she was hitting on me or anything, she just likes to make dirty jokes and sexual references. Okay, she did say it was okay if I looked at her panties, but it was all in jest. Right?